Vows

It's been nearly a month since I left for my NY trip and all I keep thinking about is how I can get back as soon as possible.  School never prepares you for the highs and lows of post graduate life.  Yes, I've had my fair share of failures but this helpless feeling of entrapment isn't something I've had to experience before.  

I have my good days and bad days. There are times when all I want to do is lay in bed and cry. But what good does that do me? Don't get me wrong, I normally feel much better if I just sit in my room and cry for a moment or two but that can't last forever. But I also can't just bottle it up or I'd explode.

Every day this gets harder.  I thought it would get easier with time but I was sadly mistaken. Every moment I feel further away from college life and more sucked in to the job hunt black hole.  I feel opportunities slipping away from me that I have no control over. 

So as October comes to a close and November begins I keep thinking this is not what I visioned.  This is not where I wanted to be. The days/weeks/months are flying by.  In just a little over a month I'll be 23. 

...23 years old... 

I am vowing to myself that I will do everything to the best of my ability to make the last few weeks of my 22nd year worth it. I will do whatever I can to reach my dream. And to those who are beginning to tell me that I should start being realistic and dream a little smaller- you obviously don't know me. 

I've never dreamed small and I don't plan on starting today.